Sometimes it’s just not meant to be
Breakups are undoubtedly painful. It is a dark time when you feel the most vulnerable and your world comes crashing down. Everything was going fine, but then the love of your life is now the love of your past. The beautiful moments you looked forward to experience over and over are never going to happen again. It’s like the moment the breakup happened, there is no turning back. So, how do you get over a breakup? It may seem nearly impossible to move on, but for your own sanity, it is time to say goodbye.
This advice can also be told to someone who is trying to be in a relationship. If you do not love yourself first, then is it easy for someone else to do it for you? Probably not. Sounds a little blunt, but it is true. No one can do the loving for you – only you. Without the practice of self-love, the relationships you get involved in would incur some turbulence.
Loving yourself is the foundation for a healthy relationship with everyone around you. When you love yourself, you do not have to solely rely on others to pick you up. There was a quote from the movie “American Beauty” that really stuck with me: “The only person you can rely on is yourself.” Having this in mind, anyone who disappoints you will only be a minor inconvenience. You are the independent little you. Now, doesn’t that seem awesome?
Take nothing for granted
Reminding yourself that everything in life is temporary, you will learn to accept the outcome of the situation. Notice I said the word accept. It is not to say that the situation is going to be pleasant, but it is in the accepting that enables you to be at peace to move forward. Life sucks. The inevitable happens – people get fired, heartbroken and die everyday, and that just only three things. When you think about it, literally everything changes.
Cut all connections
Delete your ex’s number and do not Facebook stalk. If you are connected through other mediums, find a constructive way to cut your ex out. During the grieving stage, this may seem impossible, but trust me, it will fare well in the long run. All you need is a little self-control.
Facebook stalking is merely lengthening the pain of your heartbreak. If you want to get over and done with it fast, quit thinking about your ex. Onto point number 1: Love yourself. If you really loved yourself, would you want to intentionally inflict yourself with pain by going through an in-depth analysis of your ex’s Facebook, post-breakup?
Go ahead, shed a fountain or two. Crying is healthy – it’s a sign your not a sociopath, so kudos to you! This act is cathartic, and it makes you feel better. You are expelling all the pain away. Take all the time you need.
Don’t obsess with the breakup
Like the point above, it is healthy to cry about what happened. However, there comes a point to where it becomes excessive. Do not obsess with your ex. It will drive you down the curb towards depression and incite some negative behaviors. You may end up doing things that would make your ex want to leave you even more. Think of it this way: The person who broke up with you probably is not thinking about you right now. Do you think it is worth expending any more energy on this person?
Accept what is
You and your ex are your own individuals – not conjoined twins. You literally do not need each other to survive. It is a little selfish to convince your ex to stay with you. Surely, you can attempt to reconcile at a 99.99999% failure rate, but it is worth a shot. Who know’s? Everybody is different. If you do decide to do that, only do it once. You may reach psycho status if you attempt once more. Your ex moved on, and wants to explore his/her newfound independence. Let it go.
Relationships are a beautiful thing, but goods things come to an end. And the cycle repeats. Breakups are inevitable. When you enter a relationship, enjoy all the time that you have in it before it expires. Realize that anything can happen. It’s not about being negative – it’s about living in the real world, rather than a fantasy. Even the most seemingly healthiest couples would have an imminent expiration date. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. It is just that their time with each other is over. Again, we are our own selves. Love yourself and carpe diem!